Good Sex

Our ministry is finishing up a series called, "Good Sex". I preached the sermon on "Boundaries." Earlier I posted my opening illusration (The Boyfriend Song). That one was from the first service. This is the sermon from our second service...which means its another version of the same song! Here's the rest of the sermon:


My Sermon Notes
(This the actual outline I preached from! The indentations don't translate over when I copy and paste, so you'll have to deal with that. But save this! Some day if I become a Saint, it could be a first class relic displayed in the Vatican.)

INTRODUCTION
* I’ve set boundaries for Ashlynn
* Not because I want to make life hard
* I want to protect her from what I know guys to be
* “The Boyfriend Song”

Thesis: If you want Good Sex, you need to see God’s boundaries, and set your own.
Read: Galatians 5:19-25

I. GOD GIVES BOUNDARIES FOR YOUR PROTECTION
* This chapter is titled, “Freedom in Christ”? How do boundaries free us!
* Illustration: Flying a Kite- a kite only flies when it’s tied to a string.
A. God’s Boundaries:
1. No Sex Outside of Marriage
2. No Lusting
B. Reason for God’s Boundaries
1. To Protect You & Your Spouse
a. Breakups now = Divorce because of sex
b. Illustration: Value of a Dollar
2. To Set you free to Have Good Sex
a. Then how far is too far? = How much can I do?
b. Illustration: Invisible Dog Fence
c. We are free to play inside the fence as much as we want.

II. YOU NEED TO SET UP FENCES FOR YOUR PROTECTION
Illustration: Adam & Eve-tell story of their sin.
A. How Adam & Eve could have saved the world
1. Build a fence around the tree
2. Make it off-limits to go inside the fence.
3. Tie alligators to the fence to deter them.
B. God Gave Them a Boundary, But They Needed More
1. God’s boundaries only tell us WHEN we cross the line. (Galatians 5:21)
2. We need boundaries to keep us from getting near the line.
C. Adam & Eve’s Likely Problem
1. They knew God’s boundaries. They even added one of their own!
2. Probably took them awhile to comfy up next to the tree
3. Became friends with the serpent.
4. Without thinking did something that a few months prior they would not have done. They probably weren’t even thinking about it!
D. Relate it to Dating Relationships.

III. SETTING UP FENCES
1. Do not date non-Christians (they will not respect your boundaries)
2. Do not date strangers (you won’t have mutual friends to hang with)
3. Do not date alone (do stuff with groups of friends)
4. Do not touch inappropriately (touch only where you’d touch your mom)
5. Do not take it so serious (don’t ruin your teen years)
6. Do not date until you’re ready for marriage.
A. Not one relationship will end well.
B. Avg. 30hrs of “American Dating” = physical relationship
C. Your teen years will be so much happier.
D. Your spouse will be so much happier

CONCLUSION: HOW DO I START OVER?
1. Go on a relationship fast.
2. Fix Your Relationship with God
A. Develop the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)
B. You can use these in relationships!
3. Get an Accountability Partner (Galatians 6:1-3)
4. Set Your Fences Farther Back.

“You can enjoy the garden, without the tree.”

Congrats Glen!

I didn't watch much of the Oscars this year. I lost motivation with the writers strike. But there was one category that I was watching carefully, "Best Original Song"...or whatever the award is called. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova had a song from the movie "Once" in the running. This is awesome because they're a group of nobodies who accidentally got into a movie. The director was a friend of theirs, and asked them to write some songs for it. Turns out nobody could do the songs as well as they could. So he cast them as the main characters!

Let me tell you, this is the best soundtrack I have ever heard to a movie. I'm not sure of the genre. If I had to choose I would say it's an Irish-Folk-Rock style. It's amazing. I listened to the album the entire way to Lincoln today. Full of pure passion. Marvelous.

They won the Oscar. I was proud for them.

Here's the opening scene to the movie, featuring Glen playing an awesome, torn up Takamine on the street corner (the guitar is not a prop. It's the one he uses for all of his performances!). Marketa comes in at the end.



Now go buy the album. The whole album. There's not a bad song on it. You'll love it!

In Lincoln, Illinois

I am currently in Lincoln Illinois taking a week long, intensive class. It's one class from 8:00am to 4:00pm Monday to Friday. This is a picture of where I will be rooming. It's a cracked toilet away from looking like a prison cell. How do I go from being in a Suite in Destin Florida one week to being in a penitentary in Nowhere Illinois the next!

(...I think I just found a shank hidden in the mattress!)

The Boyfriend Song

This is a live recording of a song I wrote for Ashlynn. I wanted all of her boyfriends to know some boundaries that I'm placing on their relatioship. We played this at our student service. Added some pictures too! Hope you enjoy it!



Here's just the audio file:

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You can download it from iTunes too! Just search for "Harvester Student Ministries" and click on our podcast.

Eisegesis

I can't help but post this video. One, it's hilarious because I can't believe this guy actually preached a sermon on peeing. Two, it's horrifying because I can't believe this guy actually preached a sermon peeing!

This is an example of how to look too much into a text, to ignore the culture and context, and how to waste your congregation's time. It's also an example of how not to pee in Germany. Enjoy:



(ht to Nathan)

Conferece Day #3

The last day of the conference I went golfing. It was an awesome course. TI didn't bring my own clubs, so I had to rent some. They were the best clubs I've ever played with. My problem now is that I can't blame my game on my clubs. I know that it's me. I am bad with my clubs, and I'm bad with other people's clubs. I think I'm just bad at golf. But it was fun!

The coolest part were all of the really expensive homes that were lining the course. Our group was in no way good at golf. We hit plenty of homes, even breaking some windows, throughout the morning. It was a thing of beauty.

That evening we had a party on the beach. As we stood on the beach, in the dark, surrounding a camp fire, I felt like I was on The OC t.v. show.

All in all, the conference was good. I made lots of connections. I look forward to getting together with those guys again and talking ministry.

Our trip home was just as interesting as the week. We flew into Memphis, Tennessee only to find out that our flight to St. Louis had been cancelled due to weather. About 2 hours later we were in a little compact car for a 5 hour drive through rain, sleet and snow to get back home. The beach was nice, but it's good to be back home. I missed my family.

Conference Day #2

That's the Gulf of Mexico and the Feet of a Mexican. Today was an interesting day. I got to meet all of the Jr. High guys, which was awesome. It's cool to be surrounded by others who are in your field of youth ministry. We have a lot of the same successes and issues. I've walked away with some good ideas of how to incorporate fun into a mobile environment. Currently our Wednesday night outreach night meets in a school cafeteria. The location severely limits what we can. We have done a decent job improving the atmosphere, but we have a long way to go. I think I am better equipped to do that after some converations from today and yesterday.

I spent a good amount of today on the beach. I got to sit and read for awhile. I then played some sand volleyball with the other guys. Turns out I suck at volleyball. I'm cool with that though. It's for girls anyway.

Conference Day #1

This morning, I looked out my window and saw the beach. It's nice to look outside and know that it will be 62 degrees.

Our trip here was uneventful. The most exciting part of the plane ride was the guy who was sitting next to me. He filled me in on the latest dirty jokes and how to make $35,000 at a Casino. He then told me where all the greatest bars and "jiggling women" can be found. Other than that we had nice conversation.

At the conference, there are about 60 other megachurch youth pastors. I feel weird being among them. Not that they're anything great, or that I'm anything great. For one, I'm a naturally shy person around people I'm not leading and the whole purpose of this shin-dig is to reach out and make some contacts. I've done that, it just comes harder for me than for others I guess.

I also don't feel like I have much to offer in return. I mean, I have no great insights into youth ministry. I have no outstanding accomplishments, no great feats. I've only been in the ministry for 6 years. I think I'm impacting families and raising leaders, but I've never conjured up anything miraculous.

It's events like these that make me want to cut my hair. Youth Ministers are a vain breed, myself included. We all have a similiar apearance. Here I come, strutting in with my unkempt hair, going every which way.

One thing I hold to be true, is that God still looks on the inside. When we make our passing judgments by outward appearance and outstanding accomplishments, God sees the heart. God sees the man. I'm thankful for that.

Off to Florida

I'm heading to Florida this week for a youth megachurch youth ministry conference. It's hosted by Christ In Youth. I'm looking forward to it. I get to see and spend some time with some guys I haven't seen in awhile.

The following week I will be in Lincoln, Illinois. I'm taking another graduate class. Maybe one of these days I'll finish my degree. My estimations say another 3 classes and a Thesis and I'll have a masters degree...maybe.


Since the month is ending, here's an updated hair picture. This morning I actually felt it blowing in the wind! I'm doing well with the growth. I have no desire to cut it.

Valentine 08

Every year, Rachel and I spend Valentine's day together cooking. It's my Valentine present to her. She likes to cook. I hate it. I don't get the point of spending 1 to 3 hours cooking a meal that will be devoured in 15 minutes. However, I do fully appreciate eating a meal that took 3 hours to cook!

Valentine's Day is different though. I enjoy doing this for my girls.

Each year I cook the main entree and Rachel does the sides. Last time I made a chicken meal. This year I wanted beef.

Since I never cook, I always pick something hard. And everything has to be made from scratch. I do this so that if I screw it up, it was expected to begin with. But if I succeed, then it's a pleasant surprise for her and me.

This year I found a recipe for Smothered Filet Mignon. I made the marinade from balsmic vinegar (which smells horrible), whole grain dijon mustard, rosemary and extra virgin olive oil. Ashlynn helped stir it.

After the steak marinated in the sauce, I started to grill them. While that was grilling I carmelized some onions. I put that on the steak while they were grilling, and then melted some blue cheese on as well.

(I've come to realize that chef's tend to name stuff with out thinking. For example, the onions tasted nothing like caramel, and the cheese was not blue.)

Rachel made my favorite side, Mashed Potatos. She also made Caesar salad. For dessert she made my favorite cake: "Better Than Sex Cake." It's basically chocolate cake, that you pour caramel into (use a straw to poke holes all over the cake, then dump caramel in the holes). The topping is whipped cream with toffee crumbled ontop. It was fabulous.

We had sparkling grape juice & Dr. Pepper for a beverage.

We then all sat down at the table for our Valentine's Dinner. It was a nice dinner. It's nice to look across the table and see the three most important girls in my life there with me. Last night I had 3 valentines. As we ate, I looked into their eyes and realized something very important. I love steak, but hate blue cheese.

Blog Stats

Have you ever noticed the page counter in the right column of this blog? I like it. Not so much because it counts how many people visit this site, but because of all of the other stuff it does. The stuff that you don't get to see. It gives me a lot of interesting information about who and how people get to www.Nikomas.com

Anyway, I'm getting rid of it...kind of. The company I use now supports invisible counter statistics. Now I don't have to look like a cheezy, selfish, self-serving site. It's still there, but now only I can see it.

Would you like a behind the scenes look at what kind of information I get? Here we go:

Search Engine
My little counter lets me see how people get to my site. Most people either type the address in manually (or via a bookmar) or they use a search engine to get here. Here are some of the more interesting searches that lead to my site:

"Ron Paul Revolution"
"Stl Cardinals"
"Looking for House New Lenox"
"Others"
"Dont Vote"
"Peeping Holes"
"Stress Pimple"
"Thursday Date Night"
"Daddy Daughter Date Ideas"

And many others. Those were the most entertaining though

Map of Hits
One of my favorite items to look at is this map of hits. It then goes on to list the cities and countries that have viewed my page and how many times they have viewed it. The most interesting is the "Unknown" city that's near Washington DC. Mainly because it's the third highest viewing region of Nikomas.com...yet it's unknown! Mysterious. I think the FBI and/or CIA have me on a terrorist watch list or something.



Top 10 City Views of 2008...so far
1. St. Louis (677)
2. Chicago (542)
3. Flora (502)
4. Unknown (319)
5. Millbrae (275)
6. Ballwin (238)
7. Reston (195)
8. Collinsville (184)
9. Carson (89)
10.Eau Claire (75)
The cool part about these stats is I've never heard of some of these cities, so I have no clue who knows me from there. Ex: Millbrae, California. It's in the San Francisco area. I don't know who lives over there. But good to know they care!

The country, other than the USA with the most hits is Indonesia. I have 74 from them. Sadly, I have no visits from Mexico.

Highest Traffic
The time I had the highest traffic on my site was during the time of my father's suicide (which was one year ago last wednesday). Its good to know you guys cared...either that or you're all morbid people.

Browser
Here's what I wanted to scold you guys about. The stats say that 68% of you are still using Internet Explorer to browse the internet, and only 25% of you are using Firefox. Don't you know that Firefox is better?! It's free too. Go get it off www.mozilla.com

Beauty

This is a picture I wanted to share. We were hanging out at home playing with Ashlynn. It's a picture from my phone. Good one I think. Isn't she beautiful? (No comments to the contrary...you'd only be lieing to yourself).

Individual Success

Last night I attended an Alumni Banquet for Saint Louis Christian College. I had a good time. Here are some highlights from the night:

Table Talk
I sat with Rachel's family and Rick and Jan Fordyce. It was good to talk with them again. It's been awhile. I worked with Jan for about 5 years in the library. She was great a boss. Because of her, all of the books in my office library will forever be faced.

Junior High Talk
Got to meet and talk with Michael Kast (from Southeast Christian Church) about Junior High ministry. He's no longer in it, but seemed really excited about Junior High students still. Now he oversees a different ministry, but still volunteers with the kids. In my book, that's awesome!

Sounds of Praise Back from the Grave
Sounds of Praise is the traveling scholarship band from the college. I was a guitar player/singer in the band my Sophomore year of college. It was great, but we were a whinny group of musicians. We protested just about everything. At the end of our tenure they shut the program down. It's an inside joke between all of us band members that we killed it. It's good to see it's back! (They sounded a lot better than we did!)

One of the best questions I was asked last night at the banquet was, "When you walked through the doors of SLCC for the first time, did you ever think you would be where you are now?" It was a very difficult question to answer. It requires taking a look at where I am now, and wondering if I had the confidence to imagine myself being successful. Tough question. Good question.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that when I stepped onto the campus, I really had no goals beyond becoming an effective minister. I wanted to to teach the bible, learn how to help someone experience God, and learn how to bring someone into God's love. I never really pictured myself standing in front of tens, hudnreds or thousands of teens. Just one. I imagined myself sitting with a teen, explaining how awesome grace is.

It wasn't an intentional image. I honestly never thought about crowds. But as I think about it now, I think the mindset of one is an important concept for doing youth ministry. It's nice to talk to big groups, but if you're not focusing on individuals you end up short changing people. As much as Jesus died for us all, he died for individuals too. Sure, he die for us, but he also died for you. He died for me.

So, I think I did imagine being where I am today. I am bringing individuals to the feet of Jesus. Everything else is just context.

Top 10 Youth Ministry Internet Resources

1. Firefox
In my opinion this is the best browser available. Mainly because it is so customizable. You can add-on so many more functions. My favorite add-on is Video Download Helper. With it you can download any video off the internet, then convert them (see #8), then show them during your program as an illustration or bumper. (www.mozilla.com)

2. Google Reader
I used to hate reading. Since college I have developed a love for it! I read books, but most of my reading happens from the internet. Google Reader is a feed reader. Here's how it works. You tell it what websites you like to read from (I listed a lot of youth ministry ones on mine and friends' blogs). Then it brings it all to one place. You no longer have to jump from site to site. Anytime a site updates, it goes onto your Google Reader. I especially like it because they have a iPhone Google Reader. Every evening I spend about an hour or two reading my iPhone. Some other cool features is it tracks your reading statistics. It also recommends other sites that are similar to what you are currently reading. (www.reader.google.com)


3. Blogger
Blogger is where www.Nikomas.com is hosted. It's really good for ministry. I have a lot of my students who visit and comment here. It gives them a way to see me outside of a church setting. On the right side of this blog, there is a link to subscribe to www.nikomas.com. That would be a good link to use if you use a feed reader like Google Reader! (www.blogger.com)

4. Facebook.com
This is probably my number one way of communicating with students now. I can call students, write students, and/or email students. But they will not get it as fasts as they do when I Facebook it too them. The same is true for Myspace (I just happen to despise myspace so I don't use it).

5. Stockxpert.com
I do a lot of graphics for our ministry. This is where I go to get pieces of artwork, and/or ideas. This particular site you have to pay for the pictures (anywhere from $2 to $10 p/picture). It's worth it though! They are high quality pictures with a high pixel rate. If you're not into paying for them, I would check out (www.sxc.hu). It's a sister site with free images.

6. iTunes
OK, so it's not technically an internet site, but a program that uses the internet. I use iTunes to download podcasts. A lot of time when I'm sitting at my desk, I have my headphones in listening to youth ministry podcasts. It's a good way to make sure that you're always learning.

7. AIM
I always have Aol Instant Messenger open on my computer. This allows for my students to chat with me during the day. Sometimes, when it's busy at work it can get frustrating, but I chat anyway. (my aim screen name is samokin21 for those interested!)

8. Zamzar.com
This is a cool site. It's basically a video converter on the web. I use it most when I download videos from youtube. When you download them with firefox, they are downloaded as a flash video file (.flv). Unless you have a special flash player you can't view these files. I need them to be a quicktime file so I can import them into powerpoint (so I can show them during a lesson, etc). This site converts them for free. You just upload the video, tell it your email address and within minutes it has the file in your inbox.

9. Digg.com
I'm a news junky. I like to know what's going on. Both important news and useless news. Digg is a site that I use for news. It's different than most sites however. On Digg you only get news that's important. In order for a news article to make it to the front page it has to be voted on by a lot of Digg users (nerds like me). You can either give an article a positive review or a negative review. That determines whether the article shows up on the site or not. My favorite part of Digg is reading people's comments to articles. Sometimes they're hilarious. And once again, I really like this site because they have an iPhone version that I can read from my phone.

10. GCCwired.com
This is just one example of a church with a video podcast. Each week I try to watch video podcasts of various church's worship services. It helps me see what they're doing creatively, see what songs they're playing, etc. Granger Community Church probably has the best video podcast I've seen on the web.

Blind Voters

Let me mention one more time before saying this that my candidate right now is Ron Paul. With that said, for some reason, I find myself defending Barack Obama more than anyone else. Mainly because so many people (Christians) are so afraid of him because he is supposedly a Muslim. I personally find it hilarious how many people believe this. And do you know their main source of information? Forward emails!!! Unbelievable! I looked through one particular email, and it gave no sources at all. So here's the truth from trust worthy sources:

Barack Obama Used the Koran to Swear into Office (FALSE)
This is the funniest one, because there's no source that says he does other than a site that calls itself an "urban legend" site. In fact it was Keith Ellison from Minnesota that did this in 2006. Obama did use the Bible. It's of public record.

Barack Obama is a Muslim (FALSE)
He is a baptized believer who has attended Trinity United Church of Christ for 25 years. His father was a Muslim, (but by time Barack was born was a confirmed Atheist) and his mother is atheist, but he's a big boy now and chose a long time ago to believe in Jesus. Some will say, his beliefs as a child rub off on him today. Well, when I was a younger I didn't believe in Jesus and I was into witchcraft. But rest assure, I believe in Jesus now.

Barack Obama Doesn't Cross His Heart during the Pledge (True/False)
It actually wasn't the pledge of allegiance, it was the national anthem. But chances are you do it wrong too. And just so you know...sometimes I don't cross my heart during the national anthem either. Sometimes I do.

I've decided that Christians feel better if they believe this. They just can't fathom that a democrat could believe in Jesus. They would rather picture him as a Muslim. It's sad really. I personally believe that your belief in Jesus determines whether you believe in Jesus or not (as simple as it sounds), not your party affiliation.

This site deals with these falacies more indepth. And it's an actual, trustworthy news site, The Washington Post...not some urban legend website. Wikipedia confirms these as well. If you have proof otherwise, let me know. I'd love to see it. My guess is that if you were to google these right now, you'd see that your views on Barack are somewhat skewed by the Republican media.

Go Ron Paul!

Interesting Videos

Just thought I'd throw up some interesting videos that I stumbled upon recently. Hope you enjoy!

Whether you agree with Barack Obama or not, you have to admit he is a motivating speaker. His words are rhythmic, and to me that's a good thing! I've actually heard people say they are afraid of him because he speaks so well (I wonder if they're afraid of Martin Luther King Jr too!). This is a music video made up of his victory speech after the South Carolina primary. Very artistic, and I like it!



This video is a prank pulled in Grand Station in New York. Two hundred seven people froze at the same time, freaking out everyone else! Pretty amazing.



This is a video about a water buffalo. The buffalo gets captured by lions...and then an alligator! Then something amazing happens. You gotta watch the whole thing.

One Down, Eleven to Go

The Great Pursuit

Yesterday, I had the opportunity at preaching at one of the local Christian High Schools. It was a fun experience. I enjoy going to schools and seeing my students in a different setting. My sermon was on how God is constantly pursuing us. Even when we are Christians, and even when we betray God, he still pursues us. He still wants to draw us in. Here's a summary of the sermon:
----------


There's something a little disturbing about being pursued relentlessly. But on the other hand, there's something very reassuring about it. To know that no matter what, there will be one person out there who is on your side. There will be one person out there who cares.

For us, when we give our life to God, God is that pursuer. He vows to come after us until the end of time ("I will be with you always" Matthew 28:20). Even if we betray God, he will not stop pursuing us. We can be sure that he still loves us.

1. Cheating Moves us Away from God

Many of us really don't believe that God pursues us when we sin. We can understand how God can come for us when we're sinners. But not now. We've already accepted Christ, and now we're still sinning; still struggling with the some of the same things. And we feel condemned.

Our sin makes us feel like we are alone. Not because God has left us, but because we hide from him. Just like Adam and Eve hid after their sin, so we do the same. Instead of going to God in repentance, we hide from him in fear. We stop praying, we stop worshipping, not because we don't believe in God anymore...but because we're afraid of being condemned if we return.

Paul says in Romans 8,

"Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? Will God? He is the one who has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? Will Christ Jesus? No, for he is the one who died for us and was raised to life for us"

2. God Comes After Us

Even though we take steps away from God when we sin, we get no farther from him. Each step we take away from Him, he takes another step closer to us. He is not going away. He is constantly pursuing us.

One thing we fail to realize is that salvation is not just a one time even that happens when we confess Christ and are baptized. Salvation is on going. Paul talks about salvation in three differet ways. He says that we were saved, we are saved, and we are being saved. Christ is not our savior one time. He's our Savior for the entirety of our life after we accept him.

Paul goes on to say in Romans 8,

"[Christ Jesus] is sitting at the place of highest honor next to God, pleading for us."

Even now, he is next to God pleading for our salvation. When we screw up, it's forgiven because Jesus is there saving us. When we take steps away, God moves closer. He's not willing to let us go quite yet.

With that said, if we choose to abandon our salvation that we received, if we choose to abandon Jesus as our Savior, if we choose to leave Him, I believe that God will let us go, and we can forfeit our salvation. But I do not think it's possible to loose your salvation based on the fact that you still sin while Christ is your Savior.

This story from Hosea is a good picture of how God pursues us, and loves us, even though we have cheated on Him [Click Here for the story]

How awesome would it be, if we could get the concept of repentance down to a "T". Instead of fearing God in our sin, and hiding, we run to God in repentance. We run to God knowing that he forgives. I once heard someone say that the measure how good of a Christian we are shouldn't be how little we sin, but how much we repent. We have a God who is coming after us. Stop running. The best thing that can happen to you is to let God find you and pull you back in.